• Megan Russell

Christmas 2019

This is Hudson’s second Christmas, but the first one that he actually knows what is going on a bit. He had so much fun opening presents. It is definitely one the true joys of parenthood, watching your child open the gifts that you and Santa gave them. So much pure joy and happiness. Now, being 18months old, we did not get him many gifts, because honestly, between grandparents and his Uncle Kevin, I knew there would be too many gifts.

Wade and I had gotten each other smart watches within the past couple months and had agreed that was our Christmas gift to each other. Of course I had gotten him something small to open on Christmas morning. I was really proud of it too. My husband loves to play golf and enjoys wearing a hat. Several months ago, we had gone shopping to find him a hat to wear. We had gotten him something very basic because there weren’t a lot of options at this time. Well, during my Black Friday adventures, I found an orange Under Armor hat. I was very proud of this. Orange is his favorite color and here is the perfect hat for him to wear!

He loved his hat when he opened it. In return, he handed me a small box. I look at him and I’m pretty sure that I rolled my eyes at him. I continued to open it, the box said, “Michael Eller’s” on it. Which is the only jewelry store in town that we use. My wonderful husband bought me the most beautiful little diamond earrings. He said, “I know they are small, but I wanted to get your something that you would love and that you could wear.”

“Babe, these are absolutely beautiful. Thank you. I love it. You shouldn’t have done this though, this is too much.” I said as I was putting the earrings in already.

We lay Hudson down for his nap like normal. Trying our very best to keep some sort of a schedule during this holiday season. Wade and I talked about the normal stuff. Do you like your gift? It was great to see Hudson enjoy himself. We picked up the house a bit, did the dishes. You know, just the normal stuff.

At 3pm on Christmas, my whole family has their get together at my uncle’s house. By whole family, I mean my dad’s extended family, my grandma’s, cousins and what not, and my mom’s mom. Did you notice that I didn’t say anything about my grandpa’s? Yeah, that’s because the past two January’s, I have lost both my grandpas. This is the first year without my dad’s father. My dad is not doing well with it, really no one is. Papa is gone. This is Christmas. He was the one who always picked on the great grandkids. He always started all the stuff. Papa Bozo as one cousin’s daughters call him. I miss him. The January prior to that, like January 2018, I lost my dad’s step dad. Ugh. January is a very hard month. Here we are at the end of December, celebrating a holiday without our loved ones and getting ready to start the worst month.

I don’t tell anyone that I am pregnant. At this point, I am pretty sure that some people know, but no one is talking about it, so it was nice. I was busy running around and chasing Hudson. No one really noticed that I wasn’t drinking. Things were actually going pretty well. All of a sudden, the wave of nausea hit me. By wave, I really mean tidal wave. It hit me hard and fast. I quickly tried to go to the bathroom. Of course. There is someone in there. That would be the case. There is only one bathroom downstairs here and there are like 30 people here. The bathroom is right next to the garage where they had cooked all of the crab legs. The smell of seafood was so overwhelming. I honestly do not know how I didn’t projectile vomit everywhere right there. I knew there was a bathroom upstairs. I jumped off the baby gate at the bottom of the stairs and ran to the bathroom. At this point, I truly am running. Same thing as last time, I stand up, fix myself, wash my hands and wipe my face. As I walk down the stairs, one of my cousins notice me coming down. I tried my very hardest not to make eye contact. She had two kids, she knows “the walk of shame from the bathroom” that is correlated with pregnancy.

Life continues at this point. People know I’m pregnant. I am continuing to get sick. It is happening all day long for no reason. I go to work as I normally do. As a nurse, you work holidays. I had picked up some extra half shifts. A little 6 hour shift here and there. No big deal. It's my work weekend. I work Saturday. Work sucks. It was like everyone decided, now that Christmas is past, and I ate too much junk, my belly hurts. Let me go to the ER to make sure I’m not dying! This is one of those days you are seeing patients and moving on as fast as possible while still making them think that you care about them. Between patients, I am still getting sick. I had multiple trips to the bathroom. At this point, I am absolutely miserable. I get through my shift. I come home and shower and go to bed. I don’t even think I really talked to Wade. I was a zombie.

Sunday morning around 4am, I wake up with a killer headache. Are you freaking serious? Now? I get up, take a gram of Tylenol, since that’s all my pregnant ass can take, and grab an ice pack for my head and try to go back to sleep before my alarm went off to go to work. My alarm goes off three hours later and my headache is even worse. I knew that I couldn’t work. I had to call off. Two things here. One: I get chronic migraines and see a neurologist annually for this problem. I can’t take my normal meds for a migraine because I am pregnant. Two: I hate calling off. One of the few things I strive for is my work ethic. I’m definitely the person who goes to work sick, because my patients are more sick than me, hopefully.

I spent my entire Sunday trying to sleep off my migraine. I did start to feel better by mid afternoon. I go to bed and get ready to go to work the next morning. I picked up another little 6 hour shift on Monday. Mind you, I say a little 6 hour shift because I do work 12 hours shifts. 6 hours is like nothing. This specific shift starts at 7am. I normally go in at 9am. So this is an early shift for me. I literally rolled out of bed and went to work. By time I get to work, I start to notice how horrible I feel. I go into work early, rather than sitting in my car for ten minutes like I normally do, so I could go puke. Whatever. At this point, I am so used to puking, its second nature. I decided that it was becoming too much though. This particular morning, I got sick 3 times within an hour and half. I called my OBGYN office to ask if I could have a prescription for vomiting. This is getting to be too much. My doctor called in some phenergan for me. I am so tired this day. I literally feel like death. I am achy and chilly. I could tell I was catching something. I was talking with my director at this point at the nurses station. She was asking how I felt. I laughed with her, “Horrible. I am so sick. I actually joked the other day that I already have a favorite child, and it’s not this one.” I was talking about the ball of cells. I was not a fan of the ball of cells, not one bit. I really had stated that. I told Wade that the other day. He laughed at the statement. But it was more of a nervous laugh. Because the statement is kind of dark.

1pm came way to late. I left work so fast. I went straight to the pharmacy to pick up my nausea meds. I just had to go to there, get my meds, then I could go lay down.

I get home. I take the medications and lay down. I woke up at 6pm. My poor husband let me sleep because he knew how tired I was. I had started coughing this afternoon, and every time I would get worked up from coughing, I would vomit. It was great. I just wanted to sleep. I felt absolutely horrible. I called my mom after my nap. She had texted me multiple times. I told her that I was getting sick and that I was absolutely exhausted. She goes, “Hun, you should go to the urgent care and get a flu swab. I bet you have the flu.”

“You aren’t wrong. It’s not like I haven’t been exposed. Can you come help watch Hudson so that I don’t have to take him out.?”

“Absolutely, I’ll be over soon.”

At this point, I’d like to add that my mom is one of my best friends. Other than Wade, she is my biggest supporter. I am so grateful for all the love and support that we have.

I go to urgent care. I tell them that I am pregnant and I have been vomiting a lot and coughing. She cut me off and told me there isn’t much she can do for me. I quickly explained to her, that I just wanted a flu swab. I work in the ER. Everyone is testing positive and I’ve been exposed. I just wanted to know. They agreed. My flu test came back negative. Which was good. However, she still wanted me to take Tamiflu. Whatever. As long as it is safe with my pregnancy, I don’t care. It might make me feel better, and I definitely do not want Hudson to get this.

As much as I didn’t want to be pregnant, I still wanted the ball of cells to be healthy. I didn’t want to take anything that could harm it. I was careful.

A second trip to the pharmacy today.

I just want to go home and go back to bed. I called off of work for the next day. Which imagine this, is New Year’s Day. So now, I have called off on a weekend AND my work holiday. Not to mention, I worked a shift in between my call offs. Which means, now I get two points! Woohoo! There goes my work ethic. I had to call off work Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday.

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